I Fixed My Sex Life Behind My Husband’s Back

Our connection was lost in the hustle and bustle of life. Needless to say between work and each of us very desperate for some alone time, there was no time for intimacy. Or should I say we didn’t make any time for it, it wasn’t at the top of my list and sex certainly didn’t happen organically anymore? holding hands was a thing of the past. And the make-out sessions that we once shared had transformed into short kisses goodbye and hello.

So as any woman would do, I went to the web to find a solution to my problem. I found a wide range of “solutions”- cheating, prayer, toys, and advice on how to just live without sex. The internet had failed me.
I decided to unbiasedly evaluate my situation and make a list of all the things that could be causing this disconnect. I realized that my partner’s lack of desire, romance, love, and sex drive boiled down to him. How he feels about himself, him having a busy mind, him feeling tired or angry or exhausted, you name it, though, the list goes on. Life, work, family issues, stress, and worry were all taking their shots at my husband and I suddenly realized that I was too busy with my son to notice. I was too tired to see what my husband was dealing with.

After taking a step back and looking at our life and lifestyle, I was able to see areas in our life that I could tweak to not only restore intimacy in my marriage but also restore my husband. There were simple things that I was already doing that I could do differently to improve our connection and mental state. Things like the way I spoke to him and cooking.

I choose not to discuss this with my husband because in the past this conversation of intimacy only caused more stress and arguments. So this time I decided to take a leap of faith and put into action some of the changes I came up with and could commit to doing. Now usually I prefer to share everything with my husband but I figured hey, actions speak louder than words.

Within less than a week I felt closer to my husband and I could tell he was happier, we both were. Our intimacy was restored in all ways. Holding hands while walking, smiling while talking to each other and we began to listen to each other without getting offended (what a bonus).
So without further ado, down below you will find 7 things I did to restore the intimacy in my marriage.
Please take into consideration your relationship while reading and only do the things that make sense for you and your husband. I’m sharing what worked for me. I am not a doctor or therapist.

Smile At Him

The simple act of smiling lets him know that you are happy with him, nothing is wrong and he’s done nothing to upset you. So smile. This allows him to put his guard down, which in turn allows him to get closer to you and you to him.

Compliment Everything He Does Because Who Doesn’t Love A Compliment

Of course, you should compliment him in the morning and let him know he looks good before heading off to work. But don’t stop there. Also, let him know that the lawn looks good, he did a great job cleaning the cars, feeding the kids or tucking them in for bed, cooking, cleaning, handling a billing dispute on the phone. Whatever it is that you can compliment him on or give him praise for a job well done, do it. Believe me, your husband loves to know you are pleased with him and that you see all that he does. This will not only boost his confidence but he will also be happier and more productive. YAY!!!

Encourage Him To Exercise

Get active. If you can do this together, great but if not, at least try to get him to start doing any kind of physical activity. Getting active will boost his confidence in himself and give him more energy. Even if you get him to play basketball or go to the gym only once or twice a week, that’s a great start.

Cook Healthier Meals

Food! This is what fuels his body. You want him happy, energized, healthy, and alert NOT feeling bloated and sluggish. One is sexy and the other is not ladies. For him to be sexy, he must first, feel sexy.

Vitamins, Vitamins, Vitamins

Make sure you get your man some vitamins to supplement all the healthy “stuff” he needs that he may not be getting from his meals. This will help him feel good on the inside, reduce sleepiness and it’ll boost his energy for sure.

Keep Him Hydrated

Water is good for all things. Keeping him hydrated means fewer headaches relieves stress, provides his body with more oxygen which is amazing, and drinking more water aids in weight loss. All leading you to a healthier hubby.

Good Luck Ladies. Please let me know if this helped.

Peanut Butter Bar

Like usual, I am up before the crack ‘o dawn & was thinking what could I whip-up real quick. In theory, this would have proven to be quick, but that quick idea turned into a “whoops” & the “whoops” prompted me to not be defeated. Recipes are all trial & error anyways, so thank goodness for a lazy Sunday.

So, this is a “clean” peanut butter bar. I’ve made similar cookies that require no flour, etc, but this morning I was craving something in between a bar/cake. I originally set out with “low-calories in mind”, however, it just wasn’t coming together like no-flour cookies I’d made so many times before.

Pre-Heat Oven 325 & adjust Rack to the Middle

Ingredients:

  • 2 tbsp. Almond Flour
  • 2 tbsp. Oat Flour (I make my own gluten-free by grinding oats)
  • 1 tbsp. WW Pastry Flour (you could sub another flour here of your liking)
  • 1 tbsp. Flax Meal
  • 4 tbsp. Peanut Butter (it’s a powdered peanut butter)
  • 2 tbsp Natural Peanut Butter *see tip
  • 3 large egg whites
  • 1 tsp Vanilla (but honestly, I just pour!)
  • 1 tbsp. Cinn. (again, a favorite ingredient, so put as much as you like)
  • 1 tbsp Honey
  • 2-3 tbsp. Almond Milk
  • 1 tbsp Org. Brown Sugar (or you could use an equivalent to Splenda/Truvia)
  • 1/4 tsp Sea Salt
  • 1/4 tsp Baking Soda

Tip :

  • When working with peanut butter or honey etc – coat your utensils with a quick burst of cooking spray, just a little goes along the way & it won’t cling.
  • Weigh Ingredients: if you don’t have a scale already, I would suggest getting one, esp if you do a lot of baking. Often what you think you measured is not always accurate. I use my scale to make sure I’m getting exactly what I need.
  • This could easily be made with Almond Butter or a combination of Nut Butters as well.

Directions:

  • In a large bowl, whip 3 egg whites with vanilla peanut butter & honey & almond milk.
  • In another bowl combine & with Almond/Oat/WW Pastry Flours/peanut butter/Flax/Cinnamon/Salt/Baking Soda
  • Combine your Dry & Wet ingredients (I do this by hand and fold everything in)
  • Pour into a greased 8×8 baking dish
  • Bake @ 325F for 12-15 min. (15 worked me!)

Why You Should Work from Home

Even in the year 2021 some people still do not believe that you can work from home and make a living. Although my family would never truly understand my desire to blog I still want to make it my full-time job. I know it will take a while before the blog grows to where it needs to be for me to make a decent income, but I am prepared to work my butt off until that day comes. Making this my dream has been a tough decision to go against what I was raised to believe, but ever since I have begun blogging I have never thought of having a nine-to-five. I have a dream to work at home as I am sure many men and women do. Some people need that extra push to follow their dreams here are my reasons as to why I wish to work from home, hopefully, they will give those who are on the fence that extra push they need.

Firstly, I get to make my schedule. How amazing right? I don’t have to listen to a boss and I can decide if I want the day off. The only downside is I can get extremely lazy so, I have my wonderful hubby that keeps me on track. Just think about deciding what you want to do that day; write, focus on social media, go out and about, or even just stay in your pajamas and watch Harry Potter (which I am doing as I write). If you love being able to make your schedule you need organization and self-discipline as I have already mentioned. Keep that in mind if this is something you choose to do.

I grew up with my mom being a workaholic, which is not a terrible thing she supported me and my sister gave us a great life with anything we dreamed of having. I just know that I wish she were around more. I wish to be there with my kids through everything. I don’t want to be so consumed in the work that I miss any part of my kid’s life. I’m happy I am starting this early.

Third, I just love blogging. I was once pondering the idea of becoming a real estate agent. I took the class and everything. While I was in the class though I kept thinking of doing something else never just real estate. Also, the risk I would have selling homes, if I messed up even just the slightest bit I could lose my license or be sued. I wasn’t ready for that. Ever since I began blogging I have loved every second of it. I have not had any thoughts of finding another job and the risk is minimal. This is something I can put my whole heart into and I’m sure someone out there likes reading my blog. There are too many people in the world for everyone to hate it. At least I hope, Ha!

Last but certainly not least, with blogging, you can grow into another way of making money. I have read about how some bloggers in specific niches will consult others and that brings in a good chunk of change. Also, there are other opportunities for making money through companies online. These jobs can be arranged around your existing schedule to not make any conflict.

Staying home and not letting others stress you out is healthy for your mind and body. Staying home if you have kids is a wonderful way to ensure they grow into bright men and women. There are numerous reasons why someone should work from home. Don’t let anyone tell you that you cannot work from home and make it. If you need the inspiration to follow your heart just read Sarah Titus’ story. If that does not give you the motivation you need I do not know what will. I hope you follow your dreams and that you have a wonderfully happy day!

Scraps of memory: Vacation Meltdown

My amazing husband planned our first little getaway with the babe to San Diego and we were so looking forward to getting away for a few days and enjoying our time!

We checked into our hotel on Tuesday afternoon with such high hopes for the rest of the week.

The next day we went to the San Diego Zoo and had so much fun seeing all of the animals. I have always loved the zoo and although the baby got to see a lot of new things, this trip to the zoo was mostly for me. The best part of our trip to the zoo was being able to see how interested junior was in all of the animals.

Although our day at the zoo was exciting, by the end of the day, I could tell junior wasn’t his normal self. I thought maybe he was just tired from being out all day, but I was so wrong.

That night little chunk got hit by the flu (dun duuuuun). And WOW, just WOW. The screaming was of the skin-crawling variety. He was inconsolable.

His fever spiked that night and he was miserable, he wouldn’t sleep for more than two hours at a time and he screamed the whole night. I immediately felt helpless and embarrassed that my baby was screaming so loud in the hotel and I could not do a thing to make him stop. I’m pretty sure the entire floor wanted to murder us.

The next morning we did the walk of shame down the hallway on our way to urgent care (yes, I took him for peace of mind). The doctor said it was a virus and we had to wait it out…easy for her to say. So, we went back to the hotel feeling a little more at ease knowing that he was just experiencing the all too familiar influenza.

So, we went back to the hotel, ordered a pizza, opened a bottle of wine, and prepped junior for bedtime. He went down seemingly easy and we enjoyed our dinner, thinking that we were going to be spared tonight. Wasn’t last night hard enough?! We went to bed and about two hours into a deep sleep…the screaming started. I mean someone is murdering me screaming. I picked him up, I tried to feed him, I changed his diaper, I checked his temp (normal), I swaddled him. Nothing worked. NOTHING.

My husband and I looked at each other and decided, without speaking, to pack our bags and leave. I’ve never seen a room, complete with all of the accouterments for a baby, packed up so fast. I was like a madwoman running around throwing things in bags (which was hard when it came to unpacking) with a screaming infant on my hip. Needless to say, as soon as we got to the car, the screaming stopped…and we drove home in peace.

I was so happy to be home but so disappointed in the way our mini vacay played out. I felt terrible that the little man was feeling so crumby and there was nothing I could do about it. I also felt bad that the time that was supposed to be relaxing ended up being so incredibly stressful.

Although the vacation was not what we had hoped for, we did learn a few things for our next trip with the baby:

  • Make sure you stick to your routine.
  • Always bring Infant Tylenol (you never know!!!)
  • Don’t be afraid to take the baby to the doctor especially if it will put your mind at ease.
  • Babies cry, even in hotel rooms.
  • Laugh because otherwise, you might cry.