Some days I just can’t. And I can’t and I can’t and I can’t. I can’t be the one with all the answers, when my head is spinning round doing cartwheels, roley-poleys and funky splits trying to figure out this acrobatic routine called life.
I don’t really know exactly what the right thing to do might be, or the direction I should be heading for and I don’t always say the right thing. Or the cool thing. Or even the smart thing.
I can’t be the one who offers a solution, when I am still searching. I am not nearly an expert (of any trade in fact), and I really just don’t know.
I can’t hold it all together.
I haven’t read that book yet.
And I forgot to make those appointments again. Piles are stacking up all around me, and I still can’t seem to find the time to sort through them. And so they grow.
I know I should’ve sent that person an email last week, and I know I should have replied to that message. But I just haven’t.
I’m not sure how I feel sometimes, and so I can’t really explain, yet I keep trying and it all just comes out in a mess and does not sound anything like it did in my head. I’m just not sure, and I just don’t know.
I can keep trying, though.
I can try to be the person who tries to listen. To the world, to her friends, to her family, to life and to herself. And I’ll probably get it wrong. My thoughts might be elsewhere and I’ll need to reread that chapter in that book that I’ve been trying to read for weeks and I’ll try to listen to what you’re saying but I’m also trying to listen to that voice in my head that’s screaming at me to LISTEN and DO NOT forget this, this is important write it down and remember, remember, remember.